Acclaimed smartphone contender OnePlus started off with a solid premise: a profession of love on Valentine’s Day.

Posted on YouTube and hashtagged #LICKOFLOVE, the video begins with men and women describing the object of their desires (“powerful … lasts all night … sleek body … looks good in leather”) — the joke being that what they’re actually talking about is OnePlus’ vaunted new 3T handset.

The problem is the concept quickly degenerates from there, unequivocally earning its hashtag. For phone fetishists or the merely curious we reposted the clip below. You've been warned.