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Dell Culture Clash

Back in my day, the jocks and the techies-A/V squad guys rarely had a topic that both could talk about, but it seems that is no longer true.

This Dell laptops story was posted on on Oct. 7:

Dell Goes To Bat With MLB

New York – Dell today will begin offering a variety of new colors and designs for its laptops, including baseball team logos through the Dell Design Studio.

It was reposted on the site Baseball Think Factory by TWICE’s managing editor John Laposky, where it garnered quite a few hysterical comments that I thought would be fun to share:

The Joe Mauer Power Hour (kj)

Oh for crying out loud. Buy a sticker for a couple dollars.

Dan Szymborski

The Royals-emblazoned laptop comes preloaded with MS-DOS 6.22 as its primary operating system.

Ryan Jones

The Jays laptop can’t compete with the Yankees or Red Sox ones unless you pay an additional $50M for upgrades.

The Joe Mauer Power Hour (kj)

The Twins laptop has a cheap but overclocked processor that does a great job with the little calculations.

Crispix Attacks

You should probably wait a couple years to buy the Mariners laptop, because it’s still hampered by generous long-term contracts with Windows ME and Microsoft Bob.

Craig Calcaterra

I beta tested the Tom Gastall model, but it kept crashing.

Swedish Chef

The Mariners laptop will sue you if take it near a strip club.

Dell doesn’t deliver Mets laptops because of excessive warranty claims.

Crispix Attacks

The Phillies laptop comes with state-of-the-art voice recognition technology, so advanced that it can even decipher West Virginians.

Cris E

The real trouble with the Royals machine is two-fold: all the fancy, glittery eye candy that was glued on to help sales snapped off and proved useless. And once that was gone you were left with a great processor surrounded by a lot of cheap components. Just a bad design all the way around.

The Pirates were just taken over and there’s a lot of cool new stuff being designed, but all they had for sale this year was the old crap. *Next* year is gonna be awesome, though (assuming they can get rid of the rest of the old models and get their new ones to market.)

The Mets machine is really, really cool on paper. The specs are out of this world. Unfortunately it spends a lot of time in the shop and you spent so much on it you can’t afford a replacement.


The Red Sox laptop is a white box.

Swoboda is freedom

The Yankee model is good, if a part ever breaks or if you just want to upgrade you get a part from any other machine to replace it.

Pl Msrkwks

The Rockies laptop takes forever to boot, but once it gets going, is spectacular.

Trevor Crowe T. Robot (Dan Lee)

The problem with the Indians model is that every time a part starts to work, you have to trade it for four parts that might work three years from now.

Jeff K.

The Angels laptop is a critical darling and very good most of the time, but it doesn’t work anywhere within 10 miles of Fenway Park.

The Tigers laptop drops downloads at 98% complete.

The Orioles laptop’s sales material still talks about the PC of the Year award it should have won in the 90s if it hadn’t been robbed of the title.

The Red Sox laptop is pink and has no math coprocessor.

The Giants laptop’s ads consist entirely of talking about the machine they built in the 1950s, because they’ve rarely made a decent one since.

The Nationals laptop is a Sorny Viro.

The Mets laptop comes preloaded with Gator, 20000 emoticons, and bookmarks for 4chan, Fark, and a comment account on Youtube.

Dayton Moore is a Big Fat Idiot (AG#1F)

The Cubs laptop looks great, but does not work in October.