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Acme Products May Be Dangerous — To Coyotes
March 14, 2008
Okay, now I'm REALLY teed off.
First, sorry for the fortnightly gap in my submissions here. I was laid low with the flu. All the ideas that usually flowed from my subconscious through my fingertips flowed instead in a more physical form from my sinus cavity through other facial orifices in volumes that caused Kimberly-Clark's stock to peak temporarily.
My temperature had dipped to normal, but rose precipitously close to blowing off the top of my head when I read Thursday night's lead story on CNN.com — the lead story, mind you — an AP piece headlined and summarized thusly:
<b>New gadgets may come loaded — with a virus</b>
From iPods to navigation systems, some of today's hottest gadgets are landing on store shelves with some unwanted extras from the factory — pre-installed viruses that steal passwords, open doors for hackers and make computers spew spam
This is incredibly misleading on the order of "Planes May Fly Straight — Into Mountains," yet another case of tech fear-mongering headlines in the mainstream press.
"From iPods to navigation systems," the story begins, "some of today's hottest gadgets are landing on store shelves with some unwanted extras from the factory: pre-installed viruses that steal passwords, open doors for hackers and make computers spew spam."
To knock the Eliot Spitzer circus, the misogynist vs. race-baiting Hillary-Barack smack-down and the Iraq wreck off the lead story slot, I was expecting reports of an out-of-control lead paint on toys/tainted toothpaste-like epidemic consciously perpetrated by godless communist Chinese factories conspiring to destroy our capitalistic wonderland.
How many thousands or even millions of digital cameras, MP3 players and cellphones, have been purposely infected with virulent viruses that could infect and disable your PC and even the entire American computerized infrastructure?
Uh, two. Not 2 million. Not two thousand.
Two.
The unnamed reporter cited cheap digital picture frames from two Chinese factories that had been accidentally — ACCIDENTALLY — infected with viruses that were caught by buyers' PC anti-virus programs.
The iPod mentioned? It was a one-off case from 2006 that Apple had long-ago corrected. TomTom was mentioned as an offender but no details followed.
In other words, the story was about cheap Chinese-made digital picture frames bought by cheap people who should have known better than to buy cheap crap made by an unknown company. $10 drug store earphones sound awful? Cellphones May Ring With News — That Your Dog Died. X-ray Specs May Blind You — To a Woman About to Slap You. Acme Products May Work — Against Wile E. Coyote. Alert the media!
What the story was not about was "today's hottest gadgets."
It was not about iPods. It was not about PNDs. It was not about any other gadget of any temperature or any manufacturer of note.
There was not a single case cited of password pilfering.
There was not a single case cited of a hacker hacking.
There was not a single case cited of spam spewing.
It is a case, instead, of pure, unadulterated irresponsible sloppy Chicken Little-memorial fear-mongering disguised as journalism.
Using the editorial standards illustrated in this story, based on this and other recent poorly researched AP tech stories (I obviously don't have to cite them), I could legitimately headline a story:
AP Tech Writers May Know — That They Don't Know What the Hell They're Talking About
I'm not saying there isn't a danger lurking in Chinese tech-quality-control procedures. Duh. Given the recent Chinese toy/toothpaste boondoggles, that's probably an interesting, if less sensational "a trend is emerging" story.
Or, I suggest, instead, a more accurate and informative story for consumers headlined "Cheap Crap Sucks: Spend A Couple of Extra Bucks To Get A Product You Can Trust."
AP and other mainstream press editors: If there is a tech story, get the whole story, and get someone who knows about tech to report it with a degree of friggin' journalistic integrity. Or, at least, don't dress it up to the level of life-threatening international conspiracy.
Woodward and Bernstein are turning over in their graves. They're not dead yet? This'll kill 'em.
Posted by Stewart Wolpin on March 14, 2008 | Comments (1)
